Do you ever wonder how some moms just seem to have this parenting thing down? Whether you’re the pajama-wearing mom half-asleep in the grocery store or the career-driven diva with a baby on the hip of your power suit, we’ve got you covered. Here are some secret truths that apply to most, if not all, new moms. It’s time we accept these sometimes shameful, sometimes funny (but always true) aspects of parenting and stand as a united front in the face of child-rearing.
1. We don’t shower every day… Sometimes we’re lucky to squeeze in one a week – and even then we’re usually interrupted by phantom baby cries, bored toddlers, or smoke alarms.
2. We sneak away and lock the door… I’ll bet 23 year old you never imagined peeing alone would one day become a luxury. It’s true; sometimes we hide out in the bathroom to regroup with 5 minutes of peace (more often than not, this is still just a pipe dream).
3. We really hate potty training… While we’re undoubtedly proud of our toddlers when they announce they need to use the potty, we secretly hate it because we know we’re destined to spend the next 20 minutes sitting on the bathtub reading “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?”.
4. We push the Sunday afternoon nap – whether they want it or not… I won’t sugarcoat this one. Aside from nap time being essential to mom’s sanity, the Sunday afternoon nap is mom’s chance to catch up on Outlander (or another TV show not suitable for tiny eyes).
5. We’ve all felt a dirty diaper at 3 a.m. and said, “It’s fine”… Maaaaaybe you didn’t do it with the first kid, but I guarantee you’ve mumbled this a time or two with the second. By the second-time around, we’re pros when it comes to gauging the remaining dry space and absorbency in diapers. By the way, I recommend Luvs.
6. We don’t feel guilty about #5… ‘Nough said.
7. We use telepathy to coax our children back to sleep… Sometimes, especially with a newborn, the mantra “Go back to sleep, go back to sleep” is sent via telepathic wavelength from mother to child. This usually doesn’t work and we end up shuffling down the hallway half-asleep. But sometimes the baby is soothed and stops crying (either that or we just fall back asleep and no longer hear anything).
8. We celebrate the capture of a baby’s booger… Yeah, I really never thought scooping a booger out of a tiny nose would be cause for celebration. But when it’s just been staring at you for hours and you finally snag it – SUCCESS! It’s the little things.
9. We hide the good snacks… Sometimes we hide out in the kitchen quietly chewing our snacks because if we hear a tiny, “Please, a bite?” we know we’ll crumble.
10. We run out of patience… We also lose our tempers, focus too much on our failures, and neglect the dishes, but we love our kids fiercely, tell them every day, and will do anything to protect them.
Don’t worry if you’re guilty of everything on this list. I know I am. And most importantly, don’t beat yourself up over your shortcomings as a parent. If your kids are happy, healthy, and loved, you’re doing a good job. Let’s start focusing on our successes – no matter how small.