You Will Never Be a Perfect Mom (and 5 other truths you need to know)

You Will Never Be a Perfect MomWith every new year, the New Year’s resolutions begin. Society expects moms to do it all. We have a certain reverence for “super moms” while deep down knowing that’s not us. Before you even make your resolutions…take a deep breath and listen…you will never be a perfect mom.

Here are the mom truths I have learned:

Truth #1: You will never be a perfect mom.

Every year, I think, “this is the year”…I’ll stop yelling, have more patience, make cute crafts with the kids, bake cookies when they come home from school…sigh…I’ll be the perfect mom. I’m here to take the burden off your shoulders. There are too many ways to be a perfect mom and you can’t do them all. Moms are amazing in their own ways…some make home cooked meals every night, some have spotless houses, some grow their own food, some make their kids’ clothes, some cut coupons. Moms stay at home, work full time, part time, and at home. Recently we heard about body image for moms with the “Excuse” mom only to be quickly countered by the Australian mom. Do we really need to put this much pressure on ourselves? Be a good mom. Allow yourself to make mistakes and be human. You can’t be a perfect mom, you just need to be a good one.

Be a good mom.

Truth #2: You will never be someone else.

The grass is always greener. Moms tend to look at other women and compare themselves to the image these people share with the world. We envy the patience of the mom at the park. We admire the balance of a coworker. We shake our head in wonder at the beauty of Angelina Jolie. We all have people we compare ourselves to…Oprah, Rachel Ray, our best friend, mother-in-law, our own mother. Stop comparing yourself to other women. Some people have maids, nannies, or other people who help out. Some of the most put together people are that way because they have to be–their lives are falling apart in unseen places. Don’t worry about what anyone else appears to be. Be you and do it brilliantly. Love who you are.

Be you and do it brilliantly.

Truth #3: You will never be able to care for others unless you care for yourself.

Moms by nature are givers. We run ourselves ragged trying to take care of everyone else in our lives. Too often, our needs are at the bottom of the list of priorities during the day. We feel guilty if we sit down and relax for even a moment. Consider for a minute though, when does your temper flare? When do you have the least amount of patience for your family? Is it when you are stressed, tired, or hungry? Take care of yourself so you can take care of others. Decide what that means for you. Do you need to escape with a cup of coffee in the morning to get your day started in peace? Can a quiet walk outside bring you balance? Would some time with a good book help you recharge? How about a nap or some time chilling out in front of the TV? Make a plan to recharge each day. Be specific. Know what you want to do and how long you need, then ask for help from the people in your life to get it.

Take care of YOU.

Truth #4: You will never please everyone.

Learn to say no. Say it cheerfully, say it with confidence, say it without apology…your time is valuable, your talents are worthy, you decide how and when to share them. You are going to disappoint people by saying no – and that’s ok.

Learn to say no.

Truth #5: You will never change anything by simply worrying.

Moms worry. About a lot of things. Worry doesn’t take away the future problem; it only steals away the joy of today. Instead of dwelling on something…make a plan, do research, meditate, or ignore it. Through action you can empower yourself to deal with a problem. Will it matter in 5 years, 5 months, 5 weeks, 5 days, 5 minutes? Put your concerns into perspective to deal with it accordingly. We tend to think you are what you eat. Have you ever considered…you are what you think?

Think positive.

Truth #6: You will never have enough time.

Do you realize, there are only 6570 days from birth until your child turns 18? “Just a minute” too often turns into 20 or 30 minutes…or bedtime….or never. A week slips us by in a blink. This year, set priorities to enjoy, breathe, notice. Slow down and enjoy the moments with your kids. Work on being present–completely and fully engaged–with the people right in front of you. You will never have a job, a project, a household chore, an app, game, video, Facebook post, picture, anything…as important as your child. You will never have anyone need you and depend on you as much as your child.

Be present and enjoy the moment.

So there you have it…the truths I have learned to make this year’s resolutions ones that I might actually achieve. Are any of these on your list of resolutions?


Wishing you a happy 2014!

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8 Responses to You Will Never Be a Perfect Mom (and 5 other truths you need to know)

  1. Summer (@TBmama) January 6, 2014 at 8:15 pm #

    Wow Debbie, thank you… this was just what I needed to read today. It’s been a heck of a week, and needed this. Thank you!

    • Debbie January 6, 2014 at 8:47 pm #

      Summer-I’m so glad you enjoyed it! As moms, we can be so hard on ourselves. I wrote this to help remind myself to just ENJOY being a mom and stop trying so hard to do everything perfectly. Happy New Year!

  2. Jenny Ramsey January 7, 2014 at 8:19 am #

    Always a good reminder. Thanks for posting. 🙂

    • Debbie January 7, 2014 at 11:49 am #

      Thanks for your note, Jenny! It helps to know I’m not the only one who struggles with these things! 🙂

  3. Christina January 11, 2014 at 1:21 pm #

    This is a wonderful post!!

    • Debbie January 11, 2014 at 1:26 pm #

      Thank you, Christina!! 🙂 You just made my day!