I often pray I don’t bump into anyone when I run into the grocery store. And if I do, I’d like to pretend to be Kristin Wiig during the airplane scene in the movie Bridesmaids when she slides down in her seat and sheepishly says, “Um no, it’s not me, I’m with him, I’m…I’m Mrs. Iglesias.”
Sometimes I too want to be Mrs. Iglesias. It’s not that I don’t like seeing friends and acquaintances – I do, but preferably when I am showered and not buying pull-ups.
But if we do happen to bump into one another, I’ll most likely be in yoga pants. Sometimes this means I actually went to a yoga class and sometimes it means, I meant to go to a yoga class.
Either way, if my pants are at least on the right way then that is a giant step in the right direction.
Because twice this month, I have left my house with my clothes on inside out. Once, on a morning walk with my dog where I gleefully greeted neighbors with a grin and a t-shirt on inside out and backwards. (Better this than a dear friend of mine who took her dog for a walk only to come home and realize that there was a hole in the crotch of her pants. And she wasn’t wearing underwear. Turns out the dog likes yoga pants, too).
And then again a few weeks later while strolling our baby girl on a dirt road in Dunedin with my dress on inside out.
I didn’t know it was inside out until my husband and kids drove up beside me, stopped the car, and laughed. In my mind, I was looking good. In my mind, when I heard them approaching, my husband was saying to himself, “Wow, am I lucky”.
As a mom you really learn how to think on your feet. And sometimes this may mean having to change your clothes on the street in less than flattering underwear, aka “grandma” panties, as two women on bikes ride by.
Maybe I should look in the mirror more often before leaving the house. But there are so many more important things to think about – like remembering my cell phone, keys, purse, and my third child – that I don’t often get a chance to. And on the off chance I do see my reflection in the mirror, the woman looking back at me so often has spinach or some kind of foreign object in her teeth and unkempt hair.
Which just brings back traumatic memories of an ex-neighbor, an attractive and successful anchor woman on the news, who once said to me, “I saw you coming and I couldn’t tell if that was you or a homeless lady”. No, it’s not me, I’m with him, I’m…I’m Mrs. Iglesias.
But f we do happen to see one another out there somewhere, either getting coffee or in the produce aisle, please excuse my appearance.
Because no matter what we are wearing or what kind of day we are having, we are doing the best we can. And there is still so much more right with us than there is wrong, even when our clothes are on backwards and there is a hole in our pants.